I have attended a monthly meeting of what is called the Beaverton Atheist Meetup (B.A.M.) for a good 4 years now. I've definitely put in my time with this group, but it's now feeling exactly like that: that I am putting in my time and not enjoying the group like I used to. The group is probably too big, 20 to 30 people, for the intensity of the "conversations" that are there. Maybe if it was only 10 people you could hear the other person better and one would not drown in the white noise of people's rants about and issues with religion. It's like a bitch-fest of how religion is bullshit and we just can't believe why people believe in these weird things. I mean, there is some benefit in venting about religion, because that can be therapeutic IF you're recovering from religion.., but I never saw any of these people move through that stage and mature in their world view as more tempered, approachable individuals, approachable even with a Christian..
Going back in time, this was the first group to which I publicly announced my Atheism to.. I remember quietly revving my vehicle's engine for like 10 minutes outside of this coffee shop before finally having the courage to go inside and socialize with other Atheists.
Yes, 5 years on the lonely road of inquiry with no group that I knew about who I could identify with until finally, on June 27th, 2007 this longing had been realized.
And it soon became clear that this coffee shop social was destined towards becoming an actual secular community. We were all founders of what would be the CFI Community of Portland and we had become friends. We knew that we had to stick together and draw from each others strengths to make this happen. It felt somewhat like a family. But today it no longer feels that way.
I guess that's how each community starts out: personal and close knit. But as one tries to grow the community, the founders volunteer where their strengths are, their time and energy are spread thin, and everyone grows apart...
So it no longer feels like a family, little alone a community, the vibrant church type which I left mid-2002 to follow the evidence wherever it lead. That's why I pay a lot of attention to why and how churches are indeed a part of the community. They are their own community and they have had centuries to master what will keep people coming back each Sunday. And to this day I wonder how to get back to this type of family, kids, teens, young adult, middle aged, and elderly friendly community, which is found in countless churches throughout this country...
I'm not a church wannabe, I am a community wannabe, and church is still the social backbone of society. If we want to create a secular alternative to church that actually draws A COMMUNITY, and not just a small minority, then we need to understand why there is so much in churches that people intrinsically want. Is it merely cultural or is there something on a level with evolutionary psychology..?
I've become honest enough with myself to realize CFI Portland may never give me the community satisfaction that I once had and I may have to be the creator of such a community myself..
Indeed this was brought home at my most recent B.A.M. experience, where I left about 30 minutes early, because I was barely getting anything out of it.., my post here being a response to that experience.
Yes, it looks like this particular meetup has reached the end of its shelf life..
"Beaverton Atheist Meetup, may you rest in peace.."
