So why am I going to church almost every Sunday? Why am I no longer "immersing" myself in an Atheist community, outside of a few exceptions? And why this unconditionally accepting, upbeat, liberal church over a conservative church?
Well, I don't understand everything about my motivation to attend church, which I've had a progressive motivation to do so for 2-3 years now, but only in the last 3 months having acted on this motivation, because I stopped working on the weekends at the turn of this year. :)
Nevertheless, here's what I've concluded on, so far, as motivations:
1) Because I had a very satisfying upbringing in church, and now, close to 10 years being away from church, want that sense of community back.
2) Because no secular "community" comes close to the community that is found in churches like Imago Dei.
3) Because Atheists, like Christians, can also be dogmatic in their own ways.
4) Because my brain might be in a more natural and happier state in dealing with belief than skepticism.
5) Because I don't want to be the Atheist who says "religion is bullshit", "religion is for idiots" and then become closed-minded by stopping my free inquiry into the deeper, more relevant questions about why/how religion is the way it is..
6) Because, as a man, I notice church atmospheres emphasize and encourage far more emotional intelligence, transparency, and personality in men than what happens in secular atmospheres.
7) Because relationships based on intellectual interests are much harder to cultivate into what is personal, trusting and meaningful than is the case with relationships based on personal and experiential interests.
8) Because I need a certain amount of reflection and introspection in my life and we all need to be reminded of what matters. We tend not to reflect on things until we're in some kind of crisis and so, because of this, church plays an important role in that it helps us reflect and reminds us of what matters.
9) Because I might be looking for a deeper level of or more opportunities for natural spiritual experiences. &
10) Because I want to understand the psychology and sociology of religion better, specifically Christianity in the U.S., and the best way to do field work on this is at a church where I can observe what makes these groups and individuals different from groups and individuals in a secular community.
For example, both religious/nonreligious groups may agree on 90% of everything, having 5% of things we mildly agree on and 5% of things we definitely disagree on. Who knows.. We can make comfortable observations from our computers or we can get our feet dirty and find out.
And that's active, free inquiry!
So... there's some insightful reasons, some personal reasons, and some neutral research reasons why I'm being drawn back to attending church..and not really a thinking-of-becoming-a-believer-again reason. I'm as strong of an Atheist and Secular Humanist as ever, precisely because I challenge my position against other positions and follow the evidence WHEREVER it leads. Atheists who don't do this are the one's we should be concerned about.
Nevertheless, many Atheists who will read the reasons I listed above will reflect, "Hmm, I haven't even given thought to most of what he mentioned here."
Well, that's the point!!!
We freely inquire into numerous topics in our lives, but when it comes to religion, our free inquiry stops at the doors of the church. We debate believers on topics and then don't also care to learn their context, that which informs and gives substance to the views/faith that they have, such as: community, faith in God, timeless traditions, the believer's geographic location, as well as the psychology and sociology of their situation. There's much to learn here and if you don't have the time and energy to learn about believers in this way at least acknowledge you're understanding of believers is not only limited, but not well founded. WHY? Because we'd like the same from believers, to not pigeonhole us, to not categorize us, to not dismiss us, to not grossly summarize us, but to understand us!
Alain de Botton, who is my new favorite Atheist, wrote a 2012 book called, Religion for Atheists: A Non-believer's Guide to the Uses of Religion.
A quote from Botton's book hits at what I am trying to emphasize here about not throwing out the baby with the bath water:
"I recognized that my continuing resistance to theories of an afterlife or of heavenly residents was no justification for giving up on the music, building, prayers, rituals, feasts, shrines, pilgrimages, communal meals and illuminated manuscripts of the faiths. Secular society has been unfairly impoverished by the loss of an array of practices and themes which atheists typically find it impossible to live with because they seem too closely associated with, to quote Nietzsche's useful phrase, 'the bad odours of religion'." -chapter 1, page 14
So I'll still attend church, delve more into my 10 reasons for attending church through my posts here, still have coffee with Christians, and simply do the field work that is needed. And the long-term goal of what I'm undertaking here would be a much better understanding of ourselves as non-believers, why certain religious traditions just don't work for us, and why a host of traditions and practices would enhance and make more fulfilling the secular community experience in our lives..
