Well, here I am and this is what I have to say, to start things off:
--I don't find myself walking back to Christianity and a relationship with God because I've discovered new and better arguments & evidence for: the existence of God, the resurrection of Christ, the power of prayer, miracles, that God used evolution do his creation, that among the religions, Christianity is "the way the truth and the life" through Jesus, the only way to the Father in Heaven, etc. etc...
--I find myself walking back to Christianity because I have certain needs that only religion AND spirituality can fill. And there's so much more to express than this one sentence here, but at the same time the main reason I am coming back towards Christianity appears to be in its deepest essence "simply profound", yes, simple and profound...
--I have a desire to return back to my roots and it does feel like a homecoming. As I mentioned in my introductory post of this 5 part series, my starting to talk to God again was not hard or a force thing for me. Instead it feels like I'm talking to an old, good friend whom I haven't connected with in about 5 years (August of 2007 was when I last spoke to God) and now it feels just like old times.... with some exceptions:
--I can't just simply pick up where I left off. Alot has happened over these 10 years since the best days of my Christianity when I left the church in mid-2002 to when I started going back to church in early 2012... There are realizations that I went through through those years, and I would call them disillusionments, that I need time to process and make sense out of. And my sweet gardenia, my girl who has a sincere relationship with Jesus, is being wonderfully patient and understanding with me, and wants me to take all the time I need with God during this time to make sense of things..
Being in my Qivonne's life, getting to know this genuine aspect of her and numerous other aspects of her, and attending church with her has been perhaps the most significant aspect of this journey back into Christianity for me. I'm now wading out into the waters of Christianity in an up close and personal manor. It's too easy to not be sufficiently impacted with the invaluable characteristics of Christianity from a distance. An armchairs approach to Christianity will NOT do it justice. You cannot simply examine Christianity and walk away with its essence... It says:
Mark 12:30, New American Standard Bible (NASB)
and
you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your
soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.
So it's not just about your mind, but all of you needs to approach God and Christianity, if you're going to learn something here. :)
The road I went down led me to eventually trying to create a secular alternative to the vibrant Christian churches you see today, a TRUE secular alternative to Christianity, under the banner of Secular Humanism..
Well, me and the founders with me that started (click on link >) CFI Portland didn't even come close to accomplishing that.... And, no, this is not a community that simply needed, say, 5 years to grow and then you see results, because I eventually realized there were fundamental things that were missing in this "community". I finally moved on from that 3-4 year attempt about a year and a half to 2 years ago. At least I had the sense to realize it and move on..
As I'm making this slow trek up to the top of mount Sinai to get closer to God, this is one of the thoughts that I'm reflecting on. It appears to me:
--That Christianity has more to do with the happiness, peace, and joy one has in the Lord and in their Christianity, and less to do with having evidence for the existence of God, the resurrection, the power of prayer, miracles, etc. or having knowledge about how Christianity was formed..
--That it's far less about one knowing and far more about one experiencing one's Christianity....
And when I say "one's Christianity", I simply mean everything that entails your Christianity, including your relationship with God..
So that's a major premise in my travels here: That it's less about re-understanding Christianity and more about re-experiencing a deeper relationship with God and the power of God in my life...
I know I'm not going to qualify everything correctly as I express myself here. I'm sure there will be some Christians who will disagree with some of the things said in this and other posts, but my heart and soul are in the right place and my Christianity is ultimately between me and God so enjoy the show folks!
