You can talk all you want about how someone's wrong and your right but if you're not going to try to learn about them, from them, in their own words, then what are you really accomplishing??? We naturally evaluate people and make presuppositions about those we come in contact with or those we talk to and that's fine! That's what it means to be a normal human being. But if we are to go anywhere in our understanding of that person, IF THIS IS A GOAL OF OURS TO UNDERSTAND PEOPLE BETTER, then we need to challenge those presuppositions..
If we don't challenge those presuppositions, then we are in danger of becoming dogmatic in our views of that person. And I am not convinced that debating helps us challenge our presuppositions as much as we would like to think it does..
I, instead, propose a more effective approach to growth in our learning from someone who is foreign to us in their views:
(1) finding common ground with that person over a certain period of time AND THEN
(2) begin to discuss those areas you differ on.
WHY?
True learning is an intellectual AND emotional experience. I heard this and it still rings true today for me personally when I engage with people:
"People don't care what you know until they know that you care."
Yes, it's a play on words but is very much to the point. People are most drawn to someone who shows a GENUINE interest in them as a person. AND WHEN they can tell that you're not just sitting there to tell them what you know and to prove them wrong, but that you want to learn from them, because you don't want to presume to know them, THEN they start to value you as a person and what you have to say.
Until that happens, in my opinion, there's a high likelihood that both people are talking past each other and not hearing each other.....
