I think I might have come to a major revelation in my life:
The way you go about talking about really deep things with the opposite sex does not work best through just and only being friends. Yes, be friends, but with the intention of moving it to a relationship IF it is your goal to reach deep, personal conversations and transparency with each other..
Why?
Because I guess we need more incentive to lay bear our inner, private world. And relationships provide that incentive. The person thinks a lot of us, finds us amazing, and that the last thing they would want to do is to judge us because they're biased and in love with us..
That now that we've become intimate, with even just kissing and making out, we now have a desire to learn everything about that person and to experience everything about that person, eventually including the most intimate of physical experiences & the most intimate of emotional experiences..
And it seems most people want to go about it this way as a sort of insurance against the opposit sex simply reacting badly and walking away from the other person, when they show a weird side of themselves or confide a "strange" personal detail about themselves or their life..
NOW, I KNOW there's many different reasons and goals for why people get into relationships, okay..
I'm just focusing on a very specific thing here..
And it's that people want to feel safe with and even "bound" to that special person.
The feeling that this person will not leave you nor forsake you..
And it's this intimate relationship, which also gives you a "power" over someone to not leave you nor forsake you, and that power is the rewards of intimacy..
There's just not a lot in it for someone TO WANT TO open up and be transparent with the opposite sex when the opposite sex is just and will only be a friend. There is less incentive, less security in that person sticking around, and no reward of romantic chemistry.
And this has kind of been a disillusioning process for me in that self interest & chemistry are very much intertwined with a person's motivation to lay bear their heart with another person of the opposite sex...
In any case, there's a lot of incentive for me and this amazing woman in my life to continue our dance towards an intimacy on several levels, one of those being our depth of communication with each other.. Life is good!!
